Actually, this title sounds like something from a financial statement; however, the topic here is about self worth, self esteem and self confidence. Believe me, self esteem is a precious resource that money cannot buy, but with the value we put into it, we can experience it
According to Nathaniel Branden, PhD in his book, The Power of Self-Esteem: An Inspiring Look At Our Most Important Psychological Resource, “Self-esteem is the experience that we are appropriate to life and to the requirements of life. More specifically, self-esteem is having the confidence in our ability to think and to cope with the basic challenges of life." Also, having the "confidence in our right to be happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants and to enjoy the fruits of our efforts.”
Our self esteem begins to be developed during our childhood and youth. The family is the first group we have reference to about ourselves, then we go to school and socialize with friends outside of the family. This is how we learn to see ourselves through our interaction with others. This starts at an early developmental stage of our lives. If our family dynamics are such that we are criticized by family, then our our feelings of self worth begin to develop on a lower level.. Our low self esteem strips us of our self confidence as we then start to go out into the world of school and society. If our family dynamics are good, yet, we are criticized by our friends, this sets us up at a very early age to think poorly of ourselves, and makes us feel we do not deserve to be happy. Everybody is different and has different experiences in life. Low self esteem can also develop later in life as we develop relationships with others and /or start listening to that inner self critic.
When it comes to the issue of weight, low self esteem can lead to weight problems. These thoughts of unworthiness can lead us to assuage our feelings with the comfort of food and that leads to emotional eating. At the same time, if we have problems with metabolic syndrome, insulin resistance, diabetes, that conundrum of problems can throw us off hormonally, make us crave carbs, make us depressed and physically makes us gain weight (because insulin is the fat growth hormone). To top it all off, if you are a woman with PCOS Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/polycystic-ovary-syndrome/DS00423) you may be overweight, have excess hair on the face and body and have acne. What woman wouldn't be depressed and have issues with low self esteem with those symptoms?
There are so many issues to be discussed when speaking of the correlation of being over-weight and low self esteem. I'm sure there have been many studies done on this very issue. Recently, within a more personal context, people have told me they have low self esteem and self confidence and that affects their life because they:
feel disgusted with themselves for gaining weight
lack the confidence to go to social functions like parties, reunions, to the beach
finding clothes to fit is a stressor and they get down on themselves
feel they lack the will power to attempt a weight loss plan
think negatively about themselves
don't like their picture taken because of the excess weight
All these aforementioned issues (which just scratch the surface of this topic) are due in part to low self esteem and low self confidence. These issues can be dealt with by improving self esteem. By just taking that first step and committing to a weight loss plan, you can begin change these problems. I'm not saying it's easy; but it is doable and necessary! I know this can be turned around because it happened for me when I got on plan and began to lose weight. My self esteem and confidence did change for the better.
Some tips on developing a better sense of self esteem are the following:
-Join a support group, either in person or online. You need to have positive acceptance and feedback. the more places to find that, the better.
-Try to think more positively about yourself. Replace negative self- talk with positive. Avoid toxic, negative people who bring you down. Negative people give & get negative feedback.
-Don't dismiss your achievements, your determination or compliments from others.
Improving our self esteem increases our confidence and is a first step towards finding happiness and more fruitful life. You gain this confidence by believing in you, finding you do have self worth, believing you are special, and that you deserve a good life. Your well-being is your bottom line and you are worth it!
Good article as always. I do think that many of us who fight weight gain have a genetic tendency in this direction. I think poor self esteem is part of a complex set of characteristics that are present in the lives of many of us. There are plenty of people with poor self esteem who are not fat! However, it is useful to do some introspection about our own situations because it aids our understanding of why we are eating too much, and why eating smaller amounts does not keep us thin.
ReplyDeleteThis article helps us down the path of introspection. Thanks!
Very good points sulymo, I especially like your last statement "why eating smaller amounts does not keep us thin." When I was fat, I did not seem to eat more than most average weight people. It was not until I came to the understanding it was my problems with Metabolic Syndrome which contributed to my weight issues
ReplyDeleteLynn Merritt